THE INTRO
I'm torn on what to do here.
I just got an email offering me the chance to clone myself. This is a really exciting opportunity!
I could REALLY use the help. With only one of me in existence, there just aren't enough hours in the day to run an Amazon reselling business, write 15 articles a week and do the Dime as well. Having some extra Dave's around would really help lighten the load. We could work together on big projects, and then on slower days I could let them do the work while I enjoyed some leisure time. Something I haven't really had any of in 2015.
On the other hand, there are some moral and existential obstacles to overcome here. Would each of these clones think he was the real me? Would my soul be split up to create each of them, or would they be soulless monsters? Wait, do I even have a soul? Who am I to create life? When I get married, do my clones still get to date other people? Does that count as cheating? Does the world really need more Dave's running around? You could make a good argument that ONE is too many of me, let alone two or three. Do they have free will? Are they me?
Oh, weird. I just sent an email to this guy with some of my questions and concerns, and the email bounced back. Apparently it was some spam bot. I could have sworn it was the genuine article.
So no clones, then. I guess I'll just have to keep trucking along.
Or will I? Apparently I have a cousin who's a Nigerian Prince that wants me to have $308,000,000. Let me go get my social security card...
THE RECORD
Last Week
Spread "Picks": 3 - 1 - 0 (.750)
Spread "Leans": 5 - 2 - 1 (.714)
Spread "Coin Flips": 2 - 2 - 0 (.500)
With the spread: 10 - 5 - 1 (.750)
Without the spread: 13 - 3 - 0 (.813)
Season
Spread "Picks": 3 - 1 - 0 (.750)
Spread "Leans": 5 - 2 - 1 (.714)
Spread "Coin Flips": 2 - 2 - 0 (.500)
With the spread: 10 - 5 - 1 (.750)
Without the spread: 13 - 3 - 0 (.813)
QUICK RECAP OF LAST WEEK
THE GOOD
($) Green Bay (-6.5) @ Chicago (+6.5)
($) Miami (-3.0) @ Washington (+3.0)
($) New Orleans (+2.5) @ Arizona (-2.5)
(/) Carolina (-3.0) @ Jacksonville (+3.0)
(/) Indianapolis (-2.5) @ Buffalo (+2.5)
(/) Cincinnati (-3.0) @ Oakland (+3.0)
(/) New York (+6.5) @ Dallas (-6.5)
(/) Minnesota (-2.5) @ San Francisco (+2.5)
(/) Pittsburgh (+7.0) @ New England (-7.0) PUSH
(?) Tennessee (+3.0) @ Tampa Bay (-3.0)
(?) Detroit (+3.0) @ San Diego (-3.0)
THE BAD
($) Philadelphia (-3.0) @ Atlanta (+3.0)
(/) Seattle (-4.0) @ St. Louis (+4.0)
(/) Baltimore (+4.5) @ Denver (-4.5)
(?) Kansas City @ Houston (Pick'em)
(?) Cleveland (+3.5) @ New York (-3.5)
THE PICKS
($) - Indicates a "Pick", which is a side that I feel strongly about
(/) - Indicates a "Lean", which is the side that I'm leaning towards
(?) - Indicates a "Coin Flip", where I don't have much of an opinion
* - Indicates Outright Upset Pick
No "pick"s this week, and a ton of "coin flip"s. This is going to be an interesting week.
THURSDAY
(?) Denver (+3.0) @ Kansas City (-3.0)
"Dave's Dime TNF Pick: Kansas City -3. No strong opinion at all, think these two are evenly matched, going with the home team and J Charles." https://twitter.com/DavesDime/status/644644424220192768
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Carolina
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Carolina
SUNDAY
(/) Houston (+3.0) @ Carolina (-3.0)
It was only one game, but man, Houston looked REALLY bad. How did it come to this, that Brian Hoyer is your starting quarterback? Oh wait, Hoyer isn't starting, it's Ryan Mallett now? The guy who couldn't win the job from Brian Hoyer in the first place? Wake me up when Arian Foster gets back... until then, Houston looks like a pretty easy team to pick against.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Carolina
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Carolina
(?) San Francisco (+6.5) @ Pittsburgh (-6.5)
As great as San Francisco's defense looked last Monday, I don't want to overreact; let's see how they do against an offense as good as Pittsburgh's. On the other hand, the Steelers are still missing Le'Veon Bell, and they've got defensive problems of their own. This spread looks pretty spot on to me. Going with the team I entered the season with more respect for, at home, I guess.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Pittsburgh
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Pittsburgh
(?) Tampa Bay (+10.0) @ New Orleans (-10.0)
This is another spread that looks about right. In theory, New Orleans SHOULD destroy this defense in the same way Tennessee did last week. But Tampa Bay can't get blown up that badly every week, and the Bucs generally tend to keep it close against their division rival. I don't know, let's go with the points.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Tampa Bay
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: New Orleans
(?) Detroit (+2.0) @ Minnesota (-2.0)
Again, don't want to overreact to one game, but what the hell was that Monday Night Football performance? How can I confidently go with the Vikings after they looked that anemic on offense? But, they have to bounce back, right? And how good is Detroit? Why is this entire week one big question mark to me? Another guess, the home team bounces back.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Minnesota
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Minnesota
(/) Arizona (-2.0) @ Chicago (+2.0)
Finally, a game I have a little bit of an opinion on. As long as sportsbooks keep underrating the Cardinals, I'll keep going with them. The Bears clearly aren't going to be as hopeless under John Fox as they have been in year's past, but I don't think the defense matches up well against Arizona's passing attack, and Jay Cutler certainly doesn't match up well against this defense.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Arizona
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Arizona
(/) New England @ Buffalo (Pick'em)
I'm sold on how good Buffalo is, especially on defense. But I'm also looking at all of the history here; not only New England's success against Buffalo (which is largely irrelevant as the Bills are better now), but Belichick's over Rex Ryan's as well. Rex Ryan defenses haven't really solved the Patriots offense in the past. And another concern I have for the Bills is how big they are making this game. All week there have been quotes from players saying how much they hate the Patriots, and we all know that Rex Ryan hates them as well. So much emotion on one side while the other is just going about it's business usually results in the business-like side getting the W.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: New England
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: New England
(?) San Diego (+3.0) @ Cincinnati (-3.0)
These two teams are basically the same. Good, solid regular season teams that are always going to choke when the playoffs roll around. I don't care much about this game, but I'll go with the team that's at home and has the edge at running back in Jeremy Hill.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Cincinnati
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Cincinnati
(?) Tennessee (-2.0) @ Cleveland (+2.0)
And now we get to two bad teams with exciting young quarterbacks. I'm a big Mariota fan and was happy to see him do well last week, but I think the Titans will come back down to earth a little bit against a much better defense than they faced last week. But how much can we really trust the Browns, who just got blown out by the Jets and don't seem to have much going for them on offense? I'll be watching something else and reluctantly taking the home team.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Cleveland
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: *Cleveland
(?) Atlanta (+2.5) @ NY Giants (-2.5)
This one should be fun. I still can't get over how badly Eli Manning and the Giants botched the closing moments of their game against the Cowboys last week. What exactly was the logic of NOT going up 10 points with under two minutes left? Fear of giving up a score, an onside kick, and then another score, and then losing in OT? Just laughable. Anyway, I think both of these teams have similar strengths and weaknesses, good passing games, bad defenses. New York has home field and should be a little angrier after being laughed at all week long, so I'm going that way.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: NY Giants
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: NY Giants
(/) St. Louis (-3.0) @ Washington (+3.0)
Going back to the old "philosophy pick" days, this one just comes off as odd to me. Washington showed off its inability to win last week against Miami and figures to be awful in general this season. St. Louis pulled off a gutsy win over Seattle and looked really solid in the process. Why are the Rams such a small favorite in this one? My guess its that the sportsbooks are anticipating a letdown spot for the Rams and a hungry Redskins team coming off of last week's disappointing loss at home. I'll buy it.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Washington
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: *Washington
(/) Miami (-5.5) @ Jacksonville (+5.5)
Still pretty high on Miami, still pretty low on Jacksonville. Two straight at home for the Jags and two straight on the road for Miami makes this a slightly tricky spot for the Dolphins, but I think they'll be able to manage it.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Miami
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Miami
(/) Baltimore (-6.0) @ Oakland (+6.0)
One of the easier ones on the board this week. The Raiders were already sorely lacking in the personnel department on defense, and now that unit is battered up. And while we're at it, Derek Carr is out, too! Baltimore shouldn't have much trouble running away with this one. I'm avoiding making it a "pick" IN CASE the Raiders show some pride with a big game or something, but I won't hold my breath.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Baltimore
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Baltimore
(?) Dallas (+5.0) @ Philadelphia (-5.0)
This one should be a really good game that could go either way. Will the Philadelphia team that only showed up for one half last week show up for the whole game in this one? I don't know which way to go, but the books have set a good line to entice me to take the points on the Cowboys, who should still put up their share of points even without Dez Bryant.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Dallas
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Philadelphia
(/) Seattle (+3.0) @ Green Bay (-3.0)
It's hard to see Seattle falling to 0-2 on the season. But it's also hard to see Green Bay, after losing three straight games in Seattle including last year's NFC Championship Game in ridiculous fashion, not getting some revenge at home. With Seattle's defense looking shaky and the venue switching to Lambeau Field, I think the Packers finally get the upper hand this time around.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Green Bay
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Green Bay
MONDAY
(?) NY Jets (+7.0) @ Indianapolis (-7.0)
We can excuse the Colts for a bad week because they were playing a tough pass defense on the road, and we can blow off the Jets' strong start because it came against the Cleveland Browns. That's all well and good, but I don't think it's entirely accurate. Indianapolis will take a little time to find its groove on offense, and the Jets are going to be pretty good this year. I could see the Jets getting blown out, especially with Cromartie struggling, but I lean ever so slightly towards a close game.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: NY Jets
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Indianapolis
SURVIVOR POOL PICK
(I was thinking this might be a fun addition to the Dime, since I get asked this from time to time. Will keep this section up until I'm eliminated.)
Week 1: Miami (SURVIVE)
Week 2: New Orleans
THE COLLEGE NICKEL
RECORD: 10 – 5 – 0 (.667)
ASU -28.0 (LOSS)
Georgia Tech -2.5 (LOSS)
Rice -7.5 (WIN)
Stanford +10.0 (WIN)
BYU +17.0 (WIN)
Good luck! Thanks for reading!
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